Rough Week

I realize I'm pretty much just writing this for myself; I don't think anyone else reads this. Blogging this infrequently will cause that. That's okay, I suppose.

Rough week. Wednesday was my brother's birthday. Had he not died last year, he would have been 45. It was going to be difficult anyway, but then I saw a post by one of his kids on facebook, and that made it even harder. Even more than myself, mom, or (remaining) sister, they are going to have to deal with his death, and how it happened.

Today was the one year anniversary of my sister Andrea's death. It hit me harder than I thought. Maybe it's because it came right after my brother's birthday. More likely, it's because I never really dealt with it. I mean, I cried and grieved, but never really let go as completely as I should have. Instead, I just packed the emotions down like I usually do. I suppose one day the the lid's going to blow off, but I guess not today.

God is good. Completely, and all the time. I know that, but even when you know that someone has gone on to heaven, you still miss the phone calls you can't make to talk about stuff, the memories you can't share, and all of the "stupid stuff" we take for granted.

I miss my brother and sister. And it hurts.