I liked this one too...
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my Goodness!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter.
Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never!
Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied,
"I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Joke #1
Saw this and thought it was funny...
A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Mississippi recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" "Naw, sir", replied the redneck. "I ain't got a license. You must understand, these here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that."
The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, "It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works."
"O.K.", said the warden. "I've got to see this!"
The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the warden says, "Well?"
"Well, what?", says the redneck.
The warden says, "When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH", replied the warden!
"What fish?", replied the redneck.
A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Mississippi recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" "Naw, sir", replied the redneck. "I ain't got a license. You must understand, these here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that."
The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, "It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works."
"O.K.", said the warden. "I've got to see this!"
The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the warden says, "Well?"
"Well, what?", says the redneck.
The warden says, "When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH", replied the warden!
"What fish?", replied the redneck.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Casting Crowns
Ok, I know I complain about being too busy, but there are some things that I just can't say no to. Well I could, but I don't wanna.
I have been blessed to be able to be a coordinator of volunteers for several concerts for our local Christian Radio Station, The Joy FM (www.thejoyfm.com). I have been able to work concerts for Chonda Pierce, Mark Schultz, Winter Jam (Mercy Me, Skillet, Newsong, Mandisa), Chris Tomlin, and tonight Casting Crowns.
After doing the volunteer thing (handing out flyers, getting people to sign up for giveaways, etc.) I got to sit and listen to the band. Even though I was in the fifth row, the camera I had couldn't really zoom in too well. Someone I was sitting with is supposed to send me some pics, and when they do I'll post them. For now, here are a few pictures of of me with Bill Martin (morning DJ) and Bryan Scott (events department and my main contact for this stuff)and some of the volunteers.
Sometimes I think I should stop doing this stuff. It's not a "must" thing in my life, but I really enjoy it and besides...
...next month is Toby Mac.
Some of the volunteers
Me and Bill Martin
Me and Bryan Scott
I have been blessed to be able to be a coordinator of volunteers for several concerts for our local Christian Radio Station, The Joy FM (www.thejoyfm.com). I have been able to work concerts for Chonda Pierce, Mark Schultz, Winter Jam (Mercy Me, Skillet, Newsong, Mandisa), Chris Tomlin, and tonight Casting Crowns.
After doing the volunteer thing (handing out flyers, getting people to sign up for giveaways, etc.) I got to sit and listen to the band. Even though I was in the fifth row, the camera I had couldn't really zoom in too well. Someone I was sitting with is supposed to send me some pics, and when they do I'll post them. For now, here are a few pictures of of me with Bill Martin (morning DJ) and Bryan Scott (events department and my main contact for this stuff)and some of the volunteers.
Sometimes I think I should stop doing this stuff. It's not a "must" thing in my life, but I really enjoy it and besides...
...next month is Toby Mac.
Some of the volunteers
Me and Bill Martin
Me and Bryan Scott
Monday, February 18, 2008
...But Not Forgotten
This is a picture of Abbey (on the left) and her best friend Madyson Council taken about 3 years ago (and yes, my child uses the term "bff"- ugh! I hate that term.). Anyway, Abbey and Mady met in AWANA and became best friends right away. A couple of years later, Mady accepted Christ as her Savior, and it was on the day that Mady was getting baptised that Abbey's heart was opened and she got saved!
Well, over the summer Madyson moved to Knoxville, Tenn. Even though they don't see each other much or talk too often, Mady is still in her heart.
Speaking of hearts, when Valentine's Day was approaching, Shanna had to go and get the Valentine's Day cards for Abbey that she needed to pass out to her class. Abbey was excited at first because they were "Kim Possible" cards, but even more excited that there were over 20 cards in the pack. Why? Because there are only 12 kids in her class, and since she knew she had more than she needed, Abbey exclaimed, "I can send one to Mady!".
Now if only Shanna and I will get her to the Post Office...
Well, over the summer Madyson moved to Knoxville, Tenn. Even though they don't see each other much or talk too often, Mady is still in her heart.
Speaking of hearts, when Valentine's Day was approaching, Shanna had to go and get the Valentine's Day cards for Abbey that she needed to pass out to her class. Abbey was excited at first because they were "Kim Possible" cards, but even more excited that there were over 20 cards in the pack. Why? Because there are only 12 kids in her class, and since she knew she had more than she needed, Abbey exclaimed, "I can send one to Mady!".
Now if only Shanna and I will get her to the Post Office...
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Culture Clash
One-third of the people that read this blog have asked for updated pictures of my family. Sure, only three families actually read this, so that means only one has asked, but I'll still take it as a mandate!
My daughter, Abbey, has to do a project called "Culture Clash" for her 3rd grade class. Basically, she has to learn about a country, cook some of their food, and wear an outfit that represents that culture. Abbey chose Italy/Sicily.
Here are some pictures of Abbey making Eggplant Parmesan with my mom.
My daughter, Abbey, has to do a project called "Culture Clash" for her 3rd grade class. Basically, she has to learn about a country, cook some of their food, and wear an outfit that represents that culture. Abbey chose Italy/Sicily.
Here are some pictures of Abbey making Eggplant Parmesan with my mom.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
People With Vision
Met briefly today with some friends that are part of a new Restaurant Chain called Hungry Planet. As a subsidiary of S3 Partners (http://www.s3partners.com/) the concept is well funded and is poised to make a difference in the communities in which they build. There is some information on their site, but the basic idea is this: They build a "real" restaurant- not some "hey, why don't we try this on a shoestring budget" type of thing. Think of a higher end Panera (my words, not theirs). The restaurant is owned in part by the corporation and in part by investors. 100% of profits go to ministry. The last I heard it would be 50% to the community in which the restaurant was located, and 50% to oversees missions. I believe they are already bringing clean water to some areas in Africa that didn't have it.
I don't pretend to be an expert on Hungry Planet, but I am excited to see Christian businesspeople honoring God by only excepting excellence in what they do, and doing it to give back to Him.
And yes, Eastern NC is in the plans, but it may be a while.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
When Is It Satan?
A few years back (more than I care to count, actually) I was having a conversation with a man about different versions of the Bible. Now, this particular person was a "KJV Only" guy. In fact, he said to me something like, "The fact that the King James version of the Bible is still the most popular translation is proof that God's blessing is on it, and it's the best choice". Well, at the time I was managing a Christian Bookstore and new the numbers, so I shared that no, the KJV is not the most popular translation anymore. To that he replied something like, "That just goes to show you how Satan has infiltrated the church". The point is, he believed the KJV was the best translation (or God's annointed translation), and if the facts on populartity supported his viewpoint it was God, and if they didn't, it was Satan. Either way, his mind was made up, and facts would not faze him.
So what's my point? Well, it's this: My family and I and preparing to move to North Carolina to work with Discovery Church. There are lots of things to do- sell the house in one of the hardest-hit areas in the country for dropping real estate prices, raise two year's worth of support, work on outlet group material, work on my strategic plan for when I'm there, etc. All of this has to be accomplished while still holding a 40+ hour/week job so I can feed my family and keep the mortgage up, keep up with my current church commitments (this is the busy time of year for AWANA, plus I'm a yokefellow), and try not to stink as a husband and father.
On top of that, we are currently financially hurting. We run a pretty tight budget as it is, and this week we have spent a couple of hundred dollars due to doctors visits, prescriptions, etc. That followed a car repair bill that that was over $400 and didn't include the 3 tires I still need to get for my car.
I still haven't made my point, have I? Ok, here it is: How do I look at these trials acurately? Is it Satan coming against us for trying to do something for God? Is it a matter of people get sick sometimes, and tires wear out? Is our spending out of line, or are we not being careful? Is it God trying to tell us to stay put and not move?
The only answers I have are...I don't know. I can look at the tangible stuff (budget and spending) and adjust where possible. As for the spiritual side (message from God vs. attack from Satan), all I can say is we have prayed about the move, and we believe this is where God is leading us. If you want to know if I've seen a burning bush, I haven't. Then again, I don't think I need one. I believe what we are attempting to do will allow us to serve God on a deeper level than we would be able to do here locally, and that what we are doing is for His glory and in His service. All we can do is pray that God will bless our efforts, give us wisdom, and help us to be faithful.
We are always looking for people to be praying for us. Will you?
So what's my point? Well, it's this: My family and I and preparing to move to North Carolina to work with Discovery Church. There are lots of things to do- sell the house in one of the hardest-hit areas in the country for dropping real estate prices, raise two year's worth of support, work on outlet group material, work on my strategic plan for when I'm there, etc. All of this has to be accomplished while still holding a 40+ hour/week job so I can feed my family and keep the mortgage up, keep up with my current church commitments (this is the busy time of year for AWANA, plus I'm a yokefellow), and try not to stink as a husband and father.
On top of that, we are currently financially hurting. We run a pretty tight budget as it is, and this week we have spent a couple of hundred dollars due to doctors visits, prescriptions, etc. That followed a car repair bill that that was over $400 and didn't include the 3 tires I still need to get for my car.
I still haven't made my point, have I? Ok, here it is: How do I look at these trials acurately? Is it Satan coming against us for trying to do something for God? Is it a matter of people get sick sometimes, and tires wear out? Is our spending out of line, or are we not being careful? Is it God trying to tell us to stay put and not move?
The only answers I have are...I don't know. I can look at the tangible stuff (budget and spending) and adjust where possible. As for the spiritual side (message from God vs. attack from Satan), all I can say is we have prayed about the move, and we believe this is where God is leading us. If you want to know if I've seen a burning bush, I haven't. Then again, I don't think I need one. I believe what we are attempting to do will allow us to serve God on a deeper level than we would be able to do here locally, and that what we are doing is for His glory and in His service. All we can do is pray that God will bless our efforts, give us wisdom, and help us to be faithful.
We are always looking for people to be praying for us. Will you?
Sunday, February 3, 2008
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