Not As Thankful As I Should Be

I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a wife and daughter that love me, and family and friends that are better than I deserve. More than anything else, God loves me, has saved me, and even wants to use me to serve Him. I am really thankful for that.

But I'm not as thankful as I should be. I know that I have been given more blessings than I could ever deserve and I have received more than I've lost, but this year the losses hit hard. I've had a sister and a brother die less than four months apart, and I'm feeling that loss a lot right now. It's not that I didn't feel it initially, but it's the holidays, and well...you know. The fact that how I'm feeling is considered "normal" or "understandable" is really little comfort. I try to not let all of this effect Shanna or Abbey, but that doesn't always work out. I'm probably also still holding on to some resentment or hurt feelings toward others that were created during that time. I shouldn't be, and I understand that, but I'm just being honest. I need to do a better job of forgiving others even when they don't ask for it, want it, or even realize the need for it. I need to show the mercy, forgiveness, and understanding God (and many, many others) have shown me.

I owe God more thanks than I could ever give Him, but He loves me anyway. I have so much to be thankful for, and I am truly thankful. If it doesn't always show, I apologize.