Help Save The Planet

I have decided to do my part in the fight against climate change by doing...nothing. Well, as little as possible anyway.

Every day, all over the world, people are exercising by going out jogging, going to the gym, playing sports, etc., and I believe this is bad for the planet. You see, when you exert yourself, you raise your core body temperature. Multiplied by the millions of people exercising, you can see how this can raise the overall temperature of the planet. Also, during exercise you increase your breaths per minute, releasing more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere that our rainforest-depleted planet can no longer efficiently turn into life-sustaining oxygen. Furthermore, exercising causes your clothing (especially your shoes if you run) to wear out more quickly. These items then have to be replaced, and their replacements are made in factories that spew the very pollutants into the air that lead to an expansion in the hole in the ozone layer. And not to be indelicate, but many of these same people like to eat "whole" or "raw" foods, which can lead to an increase in, shall we say... personal methane production. All of this leads me to one inevitable conclusion:

Healthy people are responsible for global warming.

Well, I won't stand for it! I feel as a responsible citizen of this planet, I must do my part to fight global climate change. I encourage everyone to exercise less, and generally exert yourself as little as possible in an effort to save our planet. It may seem extreme, and you may be thinking, "Can I really make a difference?". While individual lethargy may not have much of an impact, when millions of people band together to do as little as possible, we can accomplish much. Please join me in my (lack of) effort to save our beautiful planet.